I often ask myself, “For what purpose did God place me on this earth?” My answer: To impact the world for Christ by being a good steward of the gifts God has given me, and by continuing to grow in relationship with Jesus through prayer, His Word, and His Saints. Yup, that about sums it up. This is my purpose.
When I think about what that really means, I worry that I am not doing enough to fulfill His plan for my life. Sometimes I feel I have to sell everything I have and be a missionary in a foreign country to be doing “enough”. Next I ask myself, where does that worry come from? Is it coming from insecurity or fear? I think it is from a fear of being complacent, and I have a history of fear keeping me from doing what I want to do, and being who I want to be.
I am a quiet person. I think deeply about what I will say before I say it. I have always struggled with the fear of people not wanting to listen to me. I assume people don’t want to hear what I have to say, that my perspectives and opinions are unimportant. Sometimes I believe that. Therefore I can come across as short or uninterested in conversation, even though I am a very intent listener. As you can imagine, this makes it difficult for me to share who I really am with people. It also makes it difficult to share my passions with others, such as my love for Christ. This fear keeps me from taking action and from being bold. I don’t think I am the only one who has a fear that keeps them from being bold for Christ.
In our North American culture, we tend to resort to negligence. We like to sit back and wait for God to tell us what to do, when instead, we should be seeking the Holy Spirit for guidance and acting on what we genuinely believe He is telling us through prayer and the Bible. I recently underlined a quote from a book I am reading called, “You and Me Forever” by Francis Chan. It reads:
“So many won’t do anything unless they hear a voice from heaven telling them precisely what to do. Why not default to action until you hear a voice from heaven telling you to wait?… You may well make a mistake through misguided action, but you’re guaranteed to make a mistake by doing nothing.” (p.16-17).
Chan also uses Matthew 25:24-30 as an example. It is the parable about the servant who buried his master’s money instead of investing it and increasing the amount he was given. That passage hit me pretty hard after I read Francis Chan’s quote. It’s pretty evident that we were not made to live complacent lives. We are given gifts and we are made to do something with them. Sometimes it is difficult to figure out what that something is. It can actually be overwhelming to think about, so I like to simplify it.
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved” (1 Corinthians 10:31-33).
“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17).
The Bible always explains things perfectly doesn’t it? We are all imperfect and struggling to live the way we ought, and as with every challenge, we must have goals. These are my goals.
I hope to impact the world for Christ by being open to doing whatever work He enables me to do through His grace. I pray that God uses me, despite my many weaknesses and shortcomings. I want my love for people to be communicated clearly. I want them to see the way I live as an example of what a life led by Christ looks like. I pray for boldness to speak the truth, even when I am doubting myself or lacking the confidence. I want to be transparent and share my struggles with those I meet and create friendships with. And lastly I want to be an encouragement to my brothers and sisters in Christ who are dealing with similar things, to help build up and edify the Church.
So how am I impacting the world for Christ now? It’s simple, I am trying to love the people around me. The thing is, with social media these days, the “people around me” is a way bigger number than it used to be. That’s why I started blogging. With Christ’s strength I decided to overcome my fear in this small way. I have always desired to be transparent and open with people so that they will be encouraged to do the same. Our culture is so closed. Openness is weakness or vulnerability in their eyes. I want people to know its ok to be real.
I am also trying to use my gifts, such as my athletic abilities to reach other athletes for Christ. I can relate with athletes on many levels. I know how to train hard. I know how to be disciplined with my nutrition. I know what life as a full time athlete is like. I know how to be injured and not let it ruin me. I know how to have fun doing what I love. It is all through Christ.
As always, I am working on becoming more disciplined in prayer and Bible study. With a busy schedule, I know all about the struggle of trying to slow down for regular times of prayer, and keeping God at the forefront of my mind throughout the day through scripture. It is in those times when I don’t take the time to be with Him, that I get discouraged and fear floods back in. I can relate with fellow believers in those struggles.
In conclusion to that question at the beginning, I am keeping my eyes and heart open for every opportunity that God gives me to share his love with others. I will also continue to regularly examine my heart, my fears, and my insecurities, so that I am aware of the ways the devil tries to keep me from doing the work God has for me to do. I encourage you to challenge yourself in the same way.
Feel free to comment or message me if you have any questions or thoughts. I’d love to hear them.